Before the goodbye
by PoeticBrunette
Summary: You're leaving, I'm waiting. Forgive me, I'm always missing you, before the goodbye.


**A/N **Hey there! So, this is my first Quil/Claire fic and I'm not sure if anyone will like it. I think it's pretty good actually. It has the tiniest bit of mature content but I rated it high just in case.

And I have to point out I have no experience at these things at all, so I let my insane imagination guide me.

I hope to get some response and that will give me the inspiration to do some more one shots in the future. Maybe even longer stories.

Reviews are highly appreciated! :)

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own the characters. Stephenie Meyer does so all the credit goes to her. I just like imagining how their future would play out.

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The rain thudded against my window. No one was on the streets, only a few kids coming back from school ran to their houses, trying not to get too wet. Besides them, the town looked like it was abandoned.

I was coming back from school. Speeding my crummy car as much as I could I drove through the narrow streets of La Push.

Today was the last day with Quil. He was leaving with some other guys tomorrow morning. They had some business to work on. Vampires I suppose.

I shivered as I thought of it. I feared them. So, so much. Not the Cullens,they were nice, I was actually great friends with Nessie. But the others, the blood thirsty, red eyed monsters....

I put my foot on the gas pedal urging the car to go faster. It wouldn't.

I didn't want these thoughts in my head. I didn't need to imagine him slaughtered somewhere, dying without anyone to help him. Those were my worst nightmares. Every time the wolves went on their trips I was panicking.

But he ensured me he will be fine. And he was, he returned without a scratch every time. But that never stopped me from fearing, wondering.

I was in front of my house now. I ran out of the car and up the stairs.

"Hey, hold your horses, young lady!" Dad's voice boomed from the living room. _Great!_

I turned around and went to see what he needs. I was so impatient and wanted to get it over with already. But, he just sat there and motioned for me to come sit beside me. What else could I do? I sat.

I looked at the clock constantly, every minute I was sitting here uselessly was cutting short from my time with Quil. My precious time with Quil.

"So, what can I do for you?" I said after ten minutes of sitting in silence. I sounded kind of harsh but I didn't have time to care about it. He was keeping me away from Quil and I was mad at him. And he knew it.

"Watch your tone!" Dad warned and I offered a cheeky smile. That should count as an apology.

Tick tack, tick tack... the time passed by and he didn't say anything. I was getting really irritated. But I couldn't explode on him. That would make the matters worse.

"So, Dad, really, how can I help you?" I said calmly and I can guarantee you it was hard as hell. I was fuming on the inside. But he didn't budge. "Dad, I need to change."

He stared at me for a long moment and then said I was free to go. I looked at him cautiously and went upstairs all the time expecting him to call me back. I was relieved when he didn't.

Closing the bedroom door behind me I went straight to the closet. I took off the jeans and the stupid T shirt and pulled a pair of sweats and a brown shirt with a wolf picture on it. It still smelled like _him_.

I set my hair free from the ponytail and put a brush through it once. Quil preferred it that way. I took my make up off too. I was always natural around him. And even when I looked as hell and was on my worst edition he still managed to make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

When I was ready I went back down. Hoping I would pass unnoticed was silly, really. Which teenager manages to go out without their parents noticing? Not me, that's for sure.

But it was Mom this time. It should be easier.

"Oh, hey Mom. I'm off to see Quil." I smiled and ran my hair through my heavy dark brown hair. It was waist long now. "He's going on a trip tomorrow, so..."

I didn't finish the sentence. I couldn't. She was my mother after all. And I wasn't going to be a nice girl and watch movies with him.

She just nodded. I assume she thought I was going to be just a friend saying goodbye. If she only knew.

My parents didn't exactly know about my dearest Quil being a werewolf. I don't think I would be allowed to see him ever again if they found out. Not that it would stop me. And neither they knew that we were together. But, those were just details.

I just... felt alive around him. And whenever we were separated, even for the shortest periods of time my heart would wrench and every part of my body hurt. It was a _need _to be around, to touch. Whenever my parents weren't around he would come and we were just... together. He would sit on the sofa, me atop of him and we would just hug, kiss... being close was like a remedy.

I knew him since forever ago and I always felt that craving. Always felt the need to be around him, wanted him to focus on me.

And when I found out we were soul mates last year I was in heaven. And I couldn't actually believe he thought I was gonna be grossed out or scared or... whatever he thought. I was on seventh heaven.

But there were also the downsides of the whole imprint story. He had to leave from time to time, it was his "job" and he couldn't get out of it. Those were the hardest times.

Every passing minute was like a knife stabbing into my heart. I was in so much pain it was almost unbearable. But I never let him in on how much it actually hurt. He would blame himself for everything and I couldn't stand that.

Seeing him anything but happy brought more pain than you could ever imagine.

Finally reaching his house I shut the car door and ran to the door. The rain was pouring harder and I didn't have an umbrella. Even though it was so typical to rain here I just never had it with me. Always standing out.

I didn't knock on the door. I just let myself in. This was practically my house, I spent so much time here. Most of my childhood actually and now well, we were together a lot.

"Quil!" I called from the living room. Everything was clean – I guess Aunt Emily visited him.

I heard a grunt from his bedroom and went straight there.

He was in his bed, half of his body covered, half not, head under the pillow. Always sleeping. Should've known.

I decided to wake him up in a more... special way. I sat next to him and started drawing circles on his back. His skin was so hot... I think I was teasing myself more than him. He was unconscious after all.

He didn't respond so I decided for something more... I crawled on him and sat on his back. Than I laid on him and started kissing his shoulders. He moved a little but that was all. I kissed up to his ear then, stopping to nibble at it. He grunted and moaned a little.

My stomach tightened at the sound. I never got used to the fact that I could bring pleasure to this gorgeous man.

Softly I bit on his ear and heard the sweet noise again. I moved down to his jaw, my lips brushing on his skin lightly. I kissed his strong jawline and moved up to his cheek. Since only one side of his face was exposed to me I couldn't do much.

But I worked with what I had. I kissed his cheek, open mouthed kisses leaving wet trail on his face. Then I kissed his eye and he opened it a little.

"Claire?" he said sleepily. But his eye darted close again. I wanted to let him sleep, really. A part of me was so sorry to wake him up, but the other, more potent part was urging me to wake him up. I was wasting my time with him.

So I kissed the corner of his mouth softly, then his mouth – lingering there only for a brief second. I was teasing him, but also myself. It was harder than it seemed.

"Quil." I said softly, almost whispered... My lips brushed against his again. "Quil, wake up."

He turned to lie on his back, me getting up to allow hi to do so. Now, I was sitting on his strong muscular chest and that didn't help at all.

But, I needed to wake him up. So, I leaned forward, by breasts touching his chest as my stomach tightened even worse. It was in knots at this point.

I kissed him once on the lips, just a peck. He grunted in disagreement when my lips separate from his. A few kisses later he was awake and sitting, his back against the headboard.

I was still atop of him, but now sitting on his hips which made a big difference. A _huge_ difference.

I was so... wound up in desire that my stomach literally hurt and I could feel him through my sweatpants. I brushed myself against him once and the feeling got better and worse at the same time.

Sounds that weren't exactly meant to, escaped my lips before I could stop them. It just felt so damn _good_.

My eyes closed on their own as the pleasure got more intense. Quil jerked his hips up in time to meet my movements and we both grunted. A pleasurable shock ran through my body and my hips brushed again and again, harder each time.

Quil's hands were on my hips now, guiding them up and down. The feelings were too much to handle. I gave in to him, pushing on his chest in attempt to find some sort of balance. I was in a frenzy. I never felt this before.

I knew what it was and what it was leading to but I never felt it. I felt the tense feeling at the pit of my stomach, and something... between my legs and I had to hold my legs tight together to ease the feeling. But this... this was new.

As I held onto Quil I felt the muscles of his stomach tighten and flex under my hands. I was slightly surprised when I felt him... grow under me. The feelings that awakened in me when he touched my tight were... Amazing? Spectacular? And then he brushed against my core and I was going to _die_.

"Quil..." I half moaned half begged as he led my hip down and I brushed against his member again. My head lulled back at the sensational feeling that consumed my whole body and mind. The flames of indescribable pleasure licked my whole body and my back arched on their own.

I could vaguely, in the back of my mind hear Quil moan my name and that the Earth stopped. There was no one else in the world but us. Both in a frenzy of pleasure.

After a few minutes though I came down from my high and leaned onto Quil's chest lazily. I was a little tired and I... I had to distract myself. I didn't know what to say now. What do you usually say after you and your boyfriend have done _that_?

I could never imagine what would I say when we finally go all the way. The nerves that I forgot about during my intoxicated state were back now. And I was more than aware of them.

"Claire, I'm – I'm sorry... I didn't..." Quil said and I lifted my head to look at his face. Did he not... want this?

"Well, I'm not sorry. I wanted to tell you how amazing it was but if you don't..." I pushed myself up from his chest and started to get up but he pulled me back and wrapped his strong, hot arms around my waist.

"No, no... It was great. Much more so than you could ever imagine, but... it didn't freak you out?" he whispered the last part . He was afraid I was creeped out by what happened?

I laughed... And I never expected that the movements that this caused would bring me into the same position as before. I moved a little higher on his stomach so I could prevent our cores from brushing.

"I'm not... disgusted or... or anything. I liked it, actually." I told him avoiding his eyes. I was laying on his chest again and my face was buried in his neck. I could feel the heat beginning to creep on my cheeks.

"You did?" he seemed surprised by my answer. Why?

"Well, yeah. You know I love everything that has something to do with you." I said softly, kissing his neck. It tightened at my touch.

"Well, I liked it, too. Probably more than I should've."

His arms moved from my hips to the small of my back and one moved up my spine. I shivered from the pleasure. His nose brushed against my cheek and than he planted a slow, hot kiss on my awaiting lips. I literally melted at the sensation.

We stayed like that for a while, just laying and kissing from time to time. I was a little worn off from my climax before so I just laid there, across his chest drawing circles on his abs.

I didn't even notice the twilight outside. And when I did I remembered that I was here to say goodbye. And I remembered why was I saying goodbye.

"Quil, I don't want you to go." I whispered but it sounded like a whine. I really was acting like a little child around him sometimes. Especially when it came to him leaving.

He brushed the hair from my face gently and planted a soft kiss on my lips. "I have to, Claire. You know that." His voice sounded sad.

I did know it. But I didn't want to accept it. I never wanted him to leave. Still, I found some comfort in the fact that he didn't want to leave me either.

"Yeah. I know that." My voice was muffled as I had my face buried into the crook of his neck, kissing it.

"It's just that I miss you already. Even before we say goodbye." I said after a second. "I miss you all the time, actually. I just got so... addicted to you."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel it already, too. I just wish you weren't in pain because of me, though." His voice was barely a whisper and I knew he was blaming himself because I was hurting.

"You can't change that. But I'm the happiest when you're with me, so there has to be some balance." I reasoned even though I knew it wouldn't help. He was so stubborn at times.

"I just wish you didn't hurt, that's all." he repeated and kissed my lips lightly. "I love you, so, so much."

"I love you too." I whispered back, snuggling into his warm chest.

We didn't say anything after that. We didn't need to. The silence was so comfortable. And all I could hear was the loud, rhythmic beating of his heart. It was my lullaby.

As I slowly fell into the comforting darkness I could hear him whisper "I love you" and I smiled one last time before drifting off.


End file.
